Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
