It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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