She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
