I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
