I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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