Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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