You're my little dorito
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
