yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
