yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I deserve this hangover.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
