I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
