do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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