then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
