I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
