So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Fuck appropriateness.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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