And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
