You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
