She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
