did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
