i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
