I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
