Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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