no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
