Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
