What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
