when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
