So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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