she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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