What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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