I wanna bring you to show and tell
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
