C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
