all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
