we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
