Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't deserve a penis
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
