Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
