Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
