still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
