At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
