Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i think im in europe. pls send help
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
