Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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