So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
