would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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