Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
