Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
