had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
