I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want to have your abortion
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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