At least make sure they are 18
Why
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Of course I have a pirate flag
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize