Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
