im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize