I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
