dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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