you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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