Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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