Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
