my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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