genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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