Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
