Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Life is so much better after having sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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