im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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