The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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