pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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