i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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