Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
