Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
