so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize